Sunday, August 5, 2012

Warm Love Before Stale

New love is like a fire, really pretty, really hot, and surging. But it's still just a blinking light. But the love of the heart which is more mature and disciplined like coal, burning unquenchable (Henry Ward Beecher)
Every day we eat rice, food stand a couple of days, origin is still pretty heated. Likewise, love in marriage. Love is the soul food that should always be warmed. Love can be "fresh". Love can even become "stale". Becomes very uncomfortable for those who enjoy it even repulsive. Do not wonder the divorce rate rose, love can not stand the last stale.
I do not know. Many people who get
married just to be bothered and busy in preparation for the reception tomorrow. Courtship was only sober for some people. Long-distance courtship and did not know each other well does not matter. Found one or two months in facebook twitter direct imitation is also OK. Marriage only as a social status only. That is what the author observed during premarital counseling and marriage became a therapist. But if they neglect to keep his love in a marriage relationship, negligent aka "warm up" their love, then sooner or later that love becomes stale.
Indeed it would be nice, before marriage, love and emotions mature. Full consideration. Because marriage means staying together for life. Not like the clothes, not like removed. No! Nor was it a matter of trial and error, no!
In our counseling room, it was obvious marital problems do not occur in the marriage. But it happened long before marriage. That is because of the lack of recognition of each other, love kenak-infantile, emotional intelligence is low, and the example (family tree) Parents who are bad marriage. It all needs to be recognized and well prepared. Whether you are quite flexible, adaptable and willing to forgive your partner.
Four basic ingredients
According to research about intimacy, men and women differ in their building or the warm intimacy of love. In general, women are more capable of fostering intimacy than men.

Only, they are different. The women are better able to develop a deep emotional intimacy than men. They tend to share (the story) with respect to experience feelings. While men tend to share her love mengangatkan experience or activity

Intimacy or warmth of love need to be trained and raised. The trick is to maintain and develop intimacy. Do not forget, the survey proved the intimacy associated with our health.

There are four basic ingredients to warm love.

First, it is enough time with your partner.

Second, it could be fun to talk with a partner.

Third, have a good sense of humor and jokes.

Finally, glad to help when the couple needed help.

The bottom line has always thought of bagamana to partner happy and satisfied.

To love means to warm you should be concerned, willing to share and express yourself in your partner without fear or pretense. There is a willingness to maintain the spouse and the couple is ready to protect their physical needs well.

This includes sacrifice for the partner, defended the couple when he threatened. All this will give your partner the most fundamental sense of security.

Maintain intimacy, love to warm

There are five forms of intimacy that needs to be warmed in the marriage relationship:

First, the emotional intimacy. This is an experience of a feeling of closeness, the ability to share feelings openly, and the full attention of the couple. His form is longing to be together, there is joy chatting and walking together. The point is, make time to be emotionally intimate.

Second, social intimacy. Experience of having friends and social activities together. Its form, not easily jealous. Conversely want to hang out with friends close to your partner. Make time to meet with their respective companions.

Third, sexual intimacy (for husband and wife). It is the experience of affective states, touch, physical closeness and sexual activity. His form is to have an interest in your partner's body, having an orgasm and free in communicating about sexual issues. The tips, take a regular basis to enjoy sexual relations with your partner's needs and deal, too creative to do it.

Kempat, recreational intimacy. Share experience joy through hobbies, sports, and recreation together. The ability to enjoy leisure time together. Plan a vacation at least twice a year, which is fun for both parties, including children.

Fifth, spiritual intimacy. The ability to enjoy fellowship together spiritually, to grow in faith and pray for each other. Apart from enjoying the full faith, to strengthen each other as partners in a depressed condition, and many struggles. You can become friends sharing (vent) is fun and strengthen

If you can build and maintain the intimacy, love to warm a regular basis, then the wedding was really fun. Where you dare to leave the spouse (divorced). Great loss.

With the warmth of love that gives us pleasure and satisfaction. Also joy, peace, serenity, and minimal stress.

Conversely, if we do not care for love, let it be fresh and "stale" then it may bring negative results. Among others, easily hurt, a lot of physical and psychological complaints. Marriage without intimacy and warmth of love lead to tensions and difficulties that affect the health to your career.

Would love a warm or stale ...?


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